Updated: Jan 12
I’d like to start today's article with a disclaimer: This piece is different then many of my other articles, which are researched educational pieces with facts and research to back them up. Today's piece is purely opinion based. This is just MY opinion, based on my own personal and professional experiences. I’m certain there are plenty of folks who disagree with me, and they are entitled to their opinion just like I’m entitled to mine. That said, let's get into some spicy hot takes.
Unpopular Opinion: Genital Piercings are Often Overrated.
Alright, cue the booing. Get it out of your system now. Let’s unpack this statement. I think genital piercings are often overrated. I don’t think they are overrated for everyone, but I think in recent years genital piercings have developed this reputation that’s largely inaccurate. In the 80’-00’s genital piercings were almost exclusively gotten by kinksters, folks in the BDSM scene, and heavy tattoo and piercing enthusiasts. They served to satisfy a specific fetish or specific preference and for those clients they were AWESOME. For those clients today they are still awesome, and few things are more enjoyable or satisfying than a client reaching back out to tell me how much their piercings improved their sex life. I make this statement as someone who wears a number of different genital piercings personally, and loves them.
That said, as piercings became more mainstream, so did genital piercings. And this unspoken myth began to circulate that genital piercings were somehow magical sex enhancers. Now, I see many clients come in asking what piercing their partner can get to make sex better for them, or what piercings will make them get off all the time. I have clients who say “I heard a VCH just makes you cum every time you wear jeans or walk?! Or a Jacob’s Ladder is ribbed for their pleasure and makes my partner get off every time!” These are myths. Genital piercings aren’t magical, and having one isn’t magically going to make sex awesome for you. If you enjoy the sensations genital piercings create, you’ll enjoy them, no doubt. But not everyone does, and if you don’t enjoy that stimulation, genital piercings aren’t really going to do anything for you. I’m tired of seeing piercers and more often clients online touting genital piercings as these magical, perfect sex enhancers. We talk frankly about the drawbacks of other body piercings like tooth damage from oral piercings or scarring from surface work. It’s time to talk just as frankly about the drawbacks and negatives behind genital piercings. Nothing in this world is always pro’s, and it’s always important to consider the con’s.
When getting any kind of genital piercing, there are a few good considerations to have in mind. Are you looking for something functional? What kind of function are you desiring? What stimulation do you prefer? What kind of sex do you have? How do you masturbate? Would you prefer something that’s just decorative? Do you want to stretch your piercing in the future? Ideally, what would this piercing do for you? Take your time to think over these things, or discuss them with a partner. It’s also important to remember that every vulva and penis is very unique in shape and size, and not everyone has the right anatomy for every piercing. There are some that most anatomy can get, and some that few can. Take a look at photos online, and feel free to get a consult where a skilled piercer can assess your anatomy and let you know what piercings you can get. Once you have a good idea of what you are hoping to get from a piercing, you can discuss with a piercer what might do that for you. But genital piercings aren’t magical sex toys, and simply having them doesn’t just make sex better (unless that’s your kink.)
Another important thing to consider is that not all partners will enjoy your piercings. I often see clients get a piercing because they and their current partner is very excited and very into it. Awesome! But then they are back a few months or years later, because a new partner absolutely hates the piercing and can’t stand them wearing it. This is not an uncommon situation, particularly with penile piercings. I don’t see this addressed often enough, but almost all of my clients with penile piercings who are seeing partners with vulvas, mention that some of their partners absolutely hate the piercings. And speaking to plenty of folks with vulvas, people who really enjoy the feeling of piercings seem to be in the minority, not the majority. From a friend “please mention that fucking an Apadravya is great for penetrative vaginal sex if you wanna shread your partner like a cheese grater…”. Now not everyone with a vulva holds this opinion…..but plenty do! Please consider that when you choose to get these piercings! They won’t work for every partner. An underrated trick is to purchase a cheap dildo, and some cheap jewelry, pierce the dildo and see how you feel about it. This is a great way to trial run some of these piercings and find out if they will be comfortable, or if they will pinch, hurt, or feel too intense.
For clients considering vulva piercings, these normally aren’t too uncomfortable for partners (although some may dislike certain styles of jewelry). But this concept, particularly surrounding a VCH, that its magically going to make you get off more is absolutely false. For some clients it enhances sensation during sex. For some, it’s barely noticeable, and others it does nothing but look cute. You can’t know what it's going to do for you till you get it, but I can assure you it’s not magic- and it will not get you off every time you wear jeans or walk. Despite warning clients of this, I still encounter people who weren’t told this by their piercer and seek me out disappointed that their VCH didn’t totally change their sex life. If I’m being frank, the most effective thing about a VCH is that it’s a glaring arrow that says “hey, the clit is here!” And makes it pretty impossible for a partner not to find it. On that front VCH piercings are great and I hear awesome feedback from clients in that vein. VCH and similar piercings often don’t play well with some vibrators for many folks, and that’s another consideration. Christina piercings are cute, but don’t do anything to enhance sex. Some clients heal them fine, but others fight with irritation the entire time they wear them, even after they heal, from any face to face penetrative sex. I have seen countless clients who have retired Christina piercings after years of discomfort and fighting, only to be left with bad scarring. And I almost never see piercers discuss this online, which bothers the heck out of me.
Also, as a general aside, no genital piercing is going to make you good at sex. If you are bad at sex, you’ll be bad at it with a piercing. If you are good at it, you’ll be good at it with a piercing. (never mind that good sex and bad sex is largely subjective, and what one person loves another hates). If anything getting a piercing requires extra prowess and skill because now you have this metal object you need to work around, that can get caught, snag, twist, yank, etc.
Another thing to note is that genital piercings should be done for the wearer’s pleasure and preference. Don’t get something pierced just because your partner thinks it’s hot or wants you to. It is your body, and you need to want this piercing. Genital piercings are a big commitment, and carry with them a lot of considerations. The only person who’s opinion truly matters is yours. Absolutely take your partners preferences into account, but at the end of the day it is your body, not theirs, and yours to do with as you please.
So much of Genital Piercings is a roll of the dice. If it works for you, if it feels good, if it’s comfortable. Just like sex toys are a roll of the dice. Your friend might swear by a particular toy that you can’t stand. Everyone’s bodies are built differently, everyone enjoys different sensation and different touch. And that’s perfectly ok and normal! Everything about sex is kind of trial and error- one person’s ideal sex and dream partner is someone else’s worst nightmare. But it’s time we treat and talk about genital piercings the same way. Piercers: be frank and honest with your clients about the drawbacks of these piercings, the same way you hype up the pros. And remind clients that you can’t know how this piercing is going to work for them, they might love it or might hate it! Clients, be ok with possibly not loving the piercing you get, and please do plenty of research and have realistic expectations for these piercings.