Resuming Sex After A Genital Piercing

So you’ve gotten a genital piercing, you’ve been responsible for the first few weeks, you’ve cleaned things, you’ve worn the best underwear, and you’ve avoided anything too strenuous with it. It’s feeling good, the bleeding has stopped, and the swelling is down. You feel like maybe it's time to enjoy the fruits of your labor! But….wait. How do you do that safely? What do you watch out for? It’s a bit awkward to ring your piercer and ask, “How do I have sex again?” It’s a somewhat awkward, somewhat taboo subject, but it's one worth talking about. So, let’s discuss- how do you safely resume sex after a genital piercing?

Safe and Clean

The basics are of course, being safe, and being clean. Being safe is the first step. If anything hurts, burns, stings, pinches, or just feels altogether weird, wrong, or off, please stop what you are doing, pause, and check in with yourself. It would be ideal to just stop altogether and let things calm down, but you can also resume some activity, just avoiding whatever irritated the piercing initially. And be clean- for the first 1-2 months, please clean the piercing well before anything, as well as anyone or any thing that could contact the piercing.  Use some form of barrier or protection any time you could encounter someone else’s bodily fluids. Yes- even for fluid-bonded partners. Their bodily fluids contain their unique bacteria, which we don’t want getting on our still-healing piercing. Barriers could be condoms, dental dams, gloves, or latex underwear, whatever works for what you are doing at the moment! Also, all partners should wash up before any contact with your piercing, and you should clean the piercing well before and after.

This is all good advice. But what about….you know….the real advice.

By Yourself

I kind of like to joke around, “Welcome to being 15 again!” Because that's how it can feel getting back to self-pleasure after a fresh piercing. Especially initially, most clients are exploring things after just a few weeks, as the piercing feels comfortable. But it’s new, and it’s still fairly fresh- it’s tender, you need to be gentle, and you are worried about hurting something. We often proceed with caution due to this, and this can often feel like being younger again and exploring your body for the first time. There's something new down there, you don’t quite know how it works, and you don’t want to mess something up. Honestly- lean into it! Go into your first exploration gently, with clean hands, and start with curiosity. Gentle touches, perhaps have a mirror handy so you can explore things from all angles. For many, because of the sensitivity of a new piercing, it does not take much to achieve orgasm with that sensitivity, so just gentle touch can often do it. For some, the foreignness of a piercing makes everything a little strange and feels disconnected, and it may feel hard to reach an orgasm at first. This is also normal, and as the piercing heals and you feel more confident interacting with it, this becomes easier. You’ll quickly find what your boundaries with your piercing are- ways you can touch it and feel good, and ways that will clearly lead to irritation. Listen to your body on these things, and revisit touch that felt potentially uncomfortable after a few weeks' break and see if things feel better. Once fully healed, all activity will return to normal.

For some however, toys are an essential part of this, and knowing when to resume using them can be tricky. Things like pumps, weights, and anything that puts direct pressure on the piercing should be avoided until you are fully healed. Vibrators and fleshlights can be used, but with caution. For vibrators, something silicone is often easier on a new-ish piercing then something hard plastic. A lower, gentler setting to start is smart. And check in with how you feel during and after. Often, a vibrator may feel nice during, but after the piercing, may feel sore and tender. A sign you possibly overdid it, and to give things a bit of a break. Toys that vibrate with suction should wait till you are fully healed. Fleshlights can be safe, but clean them well before any use, and be mindful of the amount of pressure on the piercing. If it feels like it's catching or snagging, or if a few hours later things feel swollen or tender, it may have been too much too soon. A very tight fit is more likely to cause irritation then a looser fit, so consider how much compression these can put on your piercing.

All toys should be cleaned thoroughly before and after, if they are shared toys, then some form of barrier should be used. Start gently, gentler than you think you need to be, and listen to your body as you work your way up.

With A Partner

Welcome to being 15 again- part two! Now it’s your partner's turn to feel that youthful awe of interacting with something new, unique, and different sexually, and seeing how to work with it. Encourage that curiosity and lean into it! Gloved hands very gently exploring new metal and new places are a great way to start. Give them honest feedback- that feels nice, that’s too much, don’t touch this like that. Your partner won’t know how it feels to tug on or twist your jewelry- but you do. And while eventually those sensations may feel great, the first few times you try as it's healing, may not be so great. So be honest! Let them know how you are healing, show them what touch feels ok, and let them explore gently. This can be a great exercise in sexual communication for you, as well as a learning experience, so they can navigate your new adornments safely.

After a gentle touch and your partner has gotten a good idea of where the piercing is, how it rests, and how to interact with it, consider trying more paired activities. Remember, we want to avoid the other person's bodily fluids for the first two months, so protection is key! You may have to try different positions than what you are used to, depending on the piercing at hand (for example, Christina piercings can be more easily irritated with face-to-face penetrative activities, so for the first time, something from behind may be easier on the piercing). Whatever the case may be, start by going slow, listening to your body, and taking breaks as needed.

If you know what you are looking to engage in could be more harmful for the piercing (IE, impact, weights, tugging, chastity, electricity, hot wax), please wait for things to be fully healed. If you are exploring things while healing, going gentle, stick with hands, mild toys, and gentle partnered acts are the best way to go about it. After all, it is a piercing that is still healing, so we don’t want to rush right back into everything. If the thought of that feels hard for you, perhaps make it an enjoyable challenge or time period to reconnect with your body and relearn how to interact with it in ways that feel good.

Timing

I’ll be honest, most of my clients are resuming some level of sexual activity, even if this just looks like gently touching themselves, about 1-3 weeks post-piercing, depending on the piercing in question. For a long time, the concept of piercing aftercare was just telling clients not to use it till it's fully healed. And yes, there are some genital piercings where that is the best thing for healing. But for many, you can enjoy yourself (within reason) while things heal, and getting this pierced doesn’t have to mean a 5-month vow of celibacy. Realistically, clients weren’t following that anyway. So I would rather be honest with folks about how to enjoy their new piercing safely, what to watch for, and when to stop, than just tell folks not to do anything for 5 months. Clients are always going to fool around with things; it’s better to help them do so safely.

If you’ve gotten genital piercings or are curious about them and about how much downtime may be involved, I hope this blog post helped you feel more prepared! Happy healing! <3 Lynn